1. They’re like little hypo-allergenic pet monkeys.
Kids, especially the little ones, don’t have brains yet just like monkeys, which makes them extra entertaining when they’re switched on. How many times have you seen a kid with something sticking out of their nose, self inserted of course, and a cute little dumb grin on their face like something astonishing has just been achieved in their continual research in the exploration their own body. They are just like a stupid little monkey without the hair, which makes them very suitable for parents who are allergic to fur.
2. They are an excellent contingency plan.
Research has shown that kids eventually grow up into adults most of the time, although sometimes they just grow bigger but don’t actually grow brains which is a common condition with males. This growth into adulthood allows for preparation time to train them into hard working high-end money makers who, in the event you never make that “lotto win”, will allow you to be comfortably pampered and looked after during the period of your life where you regress back into a stupid wrinkly monkey.
3. You don’t have to share helium with them.
You know those parties, when everyone gets drunk and all those helium balloons suddenly become the best toys ever. Kids naturally produce their own helium hence the funny chipmunk voices they have, so you don’t need to share your helium with them.
4. You don’t have to share your alcohol with them.
Kids also naturally produce their own blood alcohol level which accounts for them continually falling over stuff, dribbling and slurring unintelligible words then yelling at you, then crying, for no apparent reason in their drunken emotional roller coaster ride of life. For this reason, and because it’s illegal, you don’t have to share your beer with them and they infact prefer (the same as men) putting boobs in their mouth rather than stubbies.
5. You can support them by attending “Thundercat 4” on 24th June, 2011.
The biggest, baddest, craziest fancy dress party is back. Bigger, badder and this time… It’s all about Disco. As always, 100% time, effort and money goes toward kids in need. This time it’s PMH Foundation and winter appeal for St Vincent de Paul. Thundercat 4 brings you back to the era that made DJs superstars, it made the dancefloor a battle ground and it made pants so tight it spawned The Bee Gees. This Thundercat is set to be the biggest one we’ve ever done, starring a massive line-up including Roller’s mix master DJ Devo, the man with 1000 platform shoes DJ Jazza and Mr Studio 54 himself: Greg Packer.
This Thundercat’s money goes to the wonderful people at Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation which will benefit research and equipment for young children, which is what Thundercat is all about. Also, due to the onset of a crazy cold winter, we ask for you to bring any old CLEAN warm clothing and blankets, sleeping bags, doonas etc along with you as we will have a St Vincent de Paul representative collecting them on the night for those who really need it this winter. With a killer lighting rig full of mirror balls and colours by F.O.R.C.E. Entertainment, Perth’s best DJs (and Scotty Assassin) playing the biggest bomb tracks of the Disco era, and the big warm dance floor of the Rosemount’s main room, this is the Thundercat to be at. Don’t get mad if you miss out on the biggest disco event of the year, blame it on the boogie.
So if you would like to donate to an amazing cause even if you can’t make the event, you can donate here: http://www.everydayhero.com.au/thundercat4
AntiNerd 