Posts Tagged ‘gay porn’

1. Your profile. BAM!

2. cryptic Status Updates That Look For Attention
“Lex Windows WISHES YOU WOULD STOP CALLING ME FFS”
“OMG Whoos callin u dude?”
“They know who they are, I’m not going to say anything”

WHAT? YOU JUST FUCKING DID, YOU FANTASTIC DICKHEAD.

3. See Who Your Biggest Stalker Is apps.
Firstly, none of these things work. Facebook isn’t a list of information that can be manipulated into any combination of teenage neo-faggot apps that deliver the news that the hottest chick in your Facebook Friends list has been secretly checking out your ugly ass photos taken from your mobile phone in your bathroom. It’s Not. Gunna. Happen.

If you think you have no chance on god’s earth with someone, thennnnn ya don’t. OK?

Secondly, if you’re a chick and you have heaps of photos of you flouncing about in undies/nude/duck face poses in your bathroom then you don’t don’t need an app to tell you who’s stalking you, you just need me: EVERY FUCKING DUDE IN YOUR FRIEND LIST. THEY ARE CHECKING OUT YOUR FINE ASS AND BANGING TITTIES. Don’t like it? TAKE DOWN THE SLUT PICS THEN.

4. Serial Likers and Serial Pokers.
Scotty AssassinMc thinks everything is shit and fuck everyone
Puppy Fart *likes this*
FUCK OFF

5. Saliva Dripping Sleeze Balls That Add Hot Chicks They Don’t Know.
Almost every one of my female mates are drop dead gorgeous. Some of them so much that they are models, which means they put up a lot of their modelling pics. Good for them, I reckon. But then each of the photos they post comes this under it, from people you have never seen or heard of before:

Tom Dickenharry: Helloooo!
Harry Muffdiver: Woah girl! SO HOT lol
Barry Dumbcunt: Man if I was only 50 years younger lol!
John Isreallysmall: Sexy sexy sexy. Wish u wer on my beach! LOL
Random Fuckwit: Hey are those metal earrings? I love metal! We shud cach up and talk metal (meaning I want to rape your ass)

HELLO, SLEEZE BAGS… CAN I HAVE A SECOND PLEASE?

Rule 1: Chicks don’t choose a suitor from Facebook Comments, nor does it turn them on
Rule 2: Chicks like to have sex with a) People they know, and b) PEOPLE WHO AREN’T OLD FAT SLEEZY GREASEBALLS
Rule 3: Chicks that are STEAMING HOT in BIKINIS while MODELLING ON A BEACH, how can I put this, er, YOU DON’T HAVE A CHANCE IN LIONFUCK OF GETTING.

So look, take your hand off it, do some laps of a pool or find thrity by anything but walking to KFC, buy clothes from somewhere besides Target, get a personality and go out and talk to ACTUAL REAL WOMEN. You might get laid if you’re lucky.

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WTF?

Here are the tag stats for today and yesterday, who the hell looks for porn and sex on WordPress? I find this hilarious as they are the only tags that really get results. My other site, http://indianajerk.com which I blog my overseas adventure travels on, uses highly focussed, high traffic SEO tags which do get me quite good results. Things such as “Killing Fields”, “Angkor Temples”, “Thailand Hotels” etc, these work well and get better with the age of the website (Google crawlers take the site’s age into account). But amazingly, AntiNerd has achieved over 80 hits per day consistently during weekdays and is less than two months old.

I attribute this to a few things. First the blog itself is like a cross between Seinfeld and Big Brother. It incorporates feelings, experiences, real human insights, comedy, emotion and has absolutely fuck-all themes. It’s about nothing more than whatever the hell I feel like writing about for the day. Sometimes I’m up, sometimes I’m down, but it’s all real, all raw, and people like to see themselves in others. People can relate to some of my ups or downs, it’s good to see others feel or experience what you do.

Secondly I attribute Facebook and Tags. I don’t take tags seriously on AntiNerd, I put anything really but notice some terms pull traffic (pun intended). Facebook links help lots, when I update, I link it on Facebook and the majority of my traffic is attributed to it being linked by myself and other people on their profiles. Nice work Facebook.

Third on the traffic tip is ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends (not mine you idiots, although it’s OK to be gay, fight the power, ruby slippers and all that), and other obsessed people desperately trying to find some hidden meaning about them nestled within my posts. They tend to forget I have an upgraded premium hosted account where the statistics and traffic information is quite extensive. One person in particular visits at least once a day to either click “I hate you” on my poll, or scan for any details that may support the ultimate controversy they have concocted in their brain. This is my blog, it’s about me you fucking idiots, not you. Stop reading so much into it, go and buy Greame Base’s book The Eleventh Hour if you are that desperate to discover a secret mystery. By the way, it was 111 mice that ate all the food. Poor Horace the Elephant.

So, stats, checkout the tags: 

Today

Referrer Views
en.wordpress.com/tag/fuck 4
en.wordpress.com/tag/free-porn 3
Facebook Profile 1
en.wordpress.com/tag/porn 1

Yesterday

Referrer Views
Friend’s Blog  15
My Facebook Profile 7
WordPress Dashboard 5
Facebook 5
Facebook 4
en.wordpress.com/tag/fuck 3
Friend’s WordPress 2
Friend’s Facebook Profile 1
Facebook Link 1
Facebook Link 1
en.wordpress.com/tag/fucking 1
Friend’s Facebook Profile 1

And my favourite for yesterday and today:

Search Views
speedos 1

I started this blog less than 2 months ago and by the time I get home it will be over 1000 hits.

1000 Hits – 12:20pm

1. Happy 1000 Hit Birthday AntiNerd

2. Google and SEO doesn’t mean shit in terms of personal blogs. Professional websites, etc I can tell you first hand SEO works, and very well. But personal blogs? Get fucked. The only hits I get from Tags are “fuck” and “sex” etc.

3. People read blogs like they watch Big Brother, because humans and the human condition are interesting. Some can express it well, some can’t.

4. If your blog looks like an Ad, it’s boring. There’s ads all over the internet. Get a personality and then start blogging.

5. Be interesting, write well, and keep it raw, that’s what a blog is for.

Peace,

xxx

Scott Assassin