10 Reasons 2010 Is Better Than Star Wars.

Posted: October 13, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hey Star Wars, you were made in 1977 and thought you were coming up with HELL WICKED advanced technology that would only be in space in the future. Well GUESS WHAT. We have ALL of that shit you dumb fucks.

1. Robots.
Yeah we have them, we call them ROBOTS. Except we don’t make gay ones like you do, and we don’t use them to flounce about the galaxy with questionable and ambiguous applications. We build CARS with them, and make TV shows where we make them smash the fuck out of each other with violent intent. Fuck your neo-faggot robots. I bet they wear perfume.

2. DVD-R Recording Systems.
I don’t know what you dickheads call them in the Fuckwit Star System but that thing princess Leia sticks in R2D2’s gob and makes her pretty little home video for Obi Wan is called a DVD-R and guess what? OURS ARE ONE HUNDRED TIMES SMALLER and FIT IN A COMPUTER THAT DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING BAD ATTITUDE. Oh, and we DON’T EVEN USE THEM ANYMORE UNLESS WE LIVE IN SOMALIA. Everyone else uses USB thumbdrives now because WE’RE MORE FUTURE THAN YOU.

3. Escape Pods.
OK, so you got us on this one. Yours have cool jets on them and ours are just a floating tent made of rubber. The noodle throat that designed ours forgot to MAKE THEM SHARK PROOF. I don’t know if you have sharks on Tattoonie but they have BIG FUCKOFF TEETH and they’re MOODY UNREASONABLE CUNTS.

4. Lasers.
Why are you shooting lasers at each other? Don’t you know they’re made of LIGHT? HEY STAR WARS, WHY DON’T YOU USE A FORTY YEAR OLD UNDERSTANDING OF LASER TECHNOLOGY…

OH, HANG ON, YOU DID.

STOP IT, YOU ARE BEING DEFICIENT.

We shoot bombs at each other that would piss all over your faggot little laser beams.

5. Deathstar Battle Station.
You think you’re cool because you can destroy a planet? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA

Fuckheads. We have BP. COME AT ME BRO.

6. Jedi mind-tricks.
We’ve got that. It’s called Scientology. Fuck Obi Wan, we got Anthony Robbins. Your dark-side emperor is fuck all too because we have Oprah.

7. Lightsabers.
Oh this is the best part. Yours are SPECIAL EFFECTS. SPACE CUNTS. WE HAVE FUCKING REAL ONES. AND THEY ONLY COST $119.99 DELIVERED INSTEAD OF HAVING TO BE GIVEN IT BY SOME CRUSTY OLD PRICK WHO LIVES IN THE DESERT SURROUNDED BY OBNOXIOUS LITTLE MIDGETS IN CLOAKS RUNNING ROUND YELLING “NOOTEENEE”.

WHAT THE FUCK DOES NOOTEENEE MEAN ANYWAY?

I’ll tell you. It means “I’m a faggot”.

8. Ewoks
We don’t have Ewoks here in the future but you know what? FUCK EWOKS.

9. Speeder Bikes.
Yeah we have bikes too, and they’re just as fast as yours, and just as dangerous. Yeah don’t try and pull the wool over my eyes, Star Wars, I saw how many bike accidents there were on Endor. DID ANY OF THOSE STUPID FUCKS HAVE AMBULANCE COVER? NO THEY DIDN’T BECAUSE EWOKS CAN’T DRIVE AMBULANCES.

10. Communicators.
Ours are called Mobile Phones and they’re heaps smaller than your shit ones, plus they’re touch screen and they have apps. What are yours? Apple iCocks? That would be good because you all suck cocks and it would look like you were sucking cock while you talked into them. Cock smokers.

SUCK SHIT.

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Comments
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