No, they aren’t. Who made me the expert? Your mum. Now I’ve been given some relief over the last year or so during the well-deserved demise of the Fauxhawk of which I hold particular contempt, but suddenly it’s been replaced with bangs and “guyliner”. Yeah, you heard me, Google it, GUYLINER! What’s next? Foundashman? LipsDick? Manscara?
I’m standing next to a guy on the train to work and he had shoes SO pointy, you could dial his boyfriend’s mobile from his pocket with them, which wouldn’t be possible really because his pants were so tight he may as well been wearing leggings. Who the hell comes up with these “fashions” that desperately-seeking-stevens seem to cling desperately to then stand looking around wondering why everyone else isn’t wearing all this rubbish?
Seriously guys, unless you’re gay WHICH IS OK (jesus, that sounded like a tagline) then why would you want to look like a woman, a peacock or a limpcock? What’s a woman? What’s a peacock? What’s a limpcock?
Let me show you:
Woman
Woman
Peacock
Peacock
Peacock
Limpcock
Limpcock
Limpcock
I’m not really that mad and don’t like to hate but some guys I see out think they’re god’s gift to women when, really, they’re more like a women’s giftpack. There’s a difference. You buy a woman’s giftpack for women, those creams and scented candles and pretty soaps AREN”T FOR YOU. You aren’t supposed to smell, dress or look like a woman if you want one, so stop acting so smug, spend less on your socks, don’t listen to hairstylists, listen to barbers or better yet, shave it your fucking self. And that DOESN’T mean with a “trimmer”.
Come on guys, you can look sharp, smell good and wear nice clothes but leave out the bangs and the eyeliner, you’ll end up with an artist or a yoga instructor for a missus. Hang on…
AntiNerd 